Memorial Day, 2009

"Only the dead have seen the end of war" - George Santayana, 1924

(Not Plato! Wrongly attributed to Plato, even by book editors who should know better.)

This was his response to Woodrow Wilson's description of World War I as "the war to end all wars".

Why People Hate Marketers!

You should head over to

http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/why-people-hate-marketers/comment-page-3/#comment-9432

and read Chris Guillebeau's excellent article "Why People Hate Marketers!".

HOWEVER! Chris seems to belong to the "let's keep each other's asses covered" club.
When I pointed out that one of the commentators, Sonia Simone does several marketing gigs including "Marketing for Nice People" with Naomi Dunford for which she and Naomi charge the princely sum of $197, Chris emailed me back that he knows Sonia and Naomi.

He did not publish my comment. So perhaps his ethics are a facade rather than truly sincere.

The Fluent Self - Yesterday's Hustle

I received this link http://www.fluentself.com/not-being-strategic/ yesterday from a well known blogger who should know better than to fall for this stuff.

Here are a few choice quotes:

"The super genius Laura Fitton (aka @Pistachio) has 30,000 Twitter followers even though she has never made it be about the numbers and has said over and over again that it’s not about the numbers.

And, as happens with super-famous people who are also really busy and fantastic at what they do, her rates are through the roof.
Just for (horribly depressing) perspective, normally an online seminar about this stuff with Pistachio runs (gah!) in the $400 -$800 range.
So I basically had to beg and plead and explain that my blog readers and my beloved clients and all my Right People totally need this.
And — astoundingly — she very kindly agreed to lower her rates by a gazillion percent or something so that you could be a part of this. Which is freaking amazing. And I will love her for this forever.
Pretty great.
So the cost is $49 for a 90 minute call (including Q&A) and the recording."

Yeah, right. Some 20 or 30 year old something is pulling in $400 to $800 for a 90 minute phone call? I'm sorry, but did I miss reading ANYTHING that would make this person and this entire hustle have a bone of credibility?

Hey, for $800 I will personally spend the whole day with you reviewing your marketing plans and helping you increase your income.

Project Mojave - The latest hustle

Here’s the carnival barking from Clay Collins: (The horrid videos/site hustling is here: http://www.projectmojavesite.com/goinside/)
============================================
Mojave Goes Off the Market on Friday at 11:59 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------

There are only 93 PM spots left. And Mojave goes off the market
this Friday, at 11:59 PM. If you're planning on joining but just
haven't gotten around to it, there's no time like the present :-).

The first 25 spots in Project Mojave were gone in 5 minutes. And
since then, all the other bonuses have long since gone. Which is
unfortunate, because a lot of people wrote in and were like "I just
signed up . . . did *I* get one of the bonuses." And I had to say
no. Which made me feel bad.

So we're extending the bonus offer. If you get in on Project Mojave
*before* 11:59 Eastern TODAY, you'll get the following. No matter
what.

--A copy of Clay's "Virtual Assistant Hiring Exam" (this is the
EXACT same test I give to my virtual assistants before hiring them;
a $37 value).

--Access to Laura Roeder's "Backstage Pass to Twitter" (a $197
value).

--A copy of Dave Navarro's "30 Hours A Day: How to Add Hours of
Productivity to Every Day" ; a $97 value (this isn't even on
the market right now).

--A copy of Jonathan Mead's "Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms" (a $24.95 value).
==================================================
OK, so as usual these wonderful bonuses sound like crap to put it mildly. I won’t waste your time with why I think that.
The price? $97 a month and since it’s a 3 month course I’m imagining that you get charged the entire $291 up front.
So in a nutshell I’ll be ice skating with Satan before I pay these guys a nickel, as they truly have no track record and are just doing the usual “incredible value” BS.

the bluebird by Charles Bukowski

(I think about this poem early in the morning before I've had any coffee, or turned on my computer to begin annoying the world. I just sit at my desk curling my toes into the fur of my Shih Tzu who sleeps at my feet.)

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.

then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

Yet Another Interview

Jesus Christ! I had to do a face to face interview in Redwood City today, and let me tell you that driving to Redwood City from Folsom is much less enjoyable than having a root canal done!

Anyway it was the usual footsie blah blah chatter about what they need, how retarded they are, how vague they are and what an unbelieveable God-like SharePoint expert I am. Yawn.

The highlight of the day was going off of my diet to In-N-Out for a #1 Double-Double.

There's a great new post by Johnny Truant over on Naomi's site: http://www.ittybiz.com/ You should be over there reading it NOW instead of loitering here. I mean what if someone saw you actually looking at this site? Are you retarded? Get out of here!

Do You Own The Complete Set?

Do you have the complete package of books, bloggers and social media?

Escape From Cubicle Nation by Pamela Slim
The 4 Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss
Career Renegade by Jonathan Fields
Me 2.0 by Dan Schawbel
I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
Built to Last by Jim Collins
Dream It. List It. Do It! By 43Things.com
This Year I Will by M. J. Ryan
Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher
Life Coaching Handbook by Cindy Martin
The Obvious Expert by Elsom and Mark Eldridge
Critical Thinking by Paul & Elder
When Organizing Isn’t Enough Shed by Julie Morgenstern
How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything
Jeffery Gitomer’s books
Seth Godin’s books

I have all of these books. Some are inspirational, some are useful and some are a total waste of tree pulp.

Have any of your books moved you forward today?

Let us not forget the blogs; I “know” Pam Slim, Tara Hunt, Robert Scoble, Naomi Dunford, Johnny Truant and many others through both email and/or real life meetings.

Have any of your blogger contacts or websites moved you forward today?

Have you tweeted today or visited LinkedIn or updated your Facebook/Squidoo/MySpace pages?

Has any of your social media moved you forward today?

All of the above are great mental comfort foods that make you feel good.

In the end though, not a single one of them will be a magic bullet that gives you money effortlessly.

Today is one of those days when I turn off the computer, leave the books unopened, and find a quiet place to mentally paint upon the canvas of silence.

Maybe that will move me forward, maybe not.

I’ll take the chance.

Brazen Blogger BS

So having see a few Brazen Blogger logos on sites, I headed over to http://www.brazencareerist.com/ and signed up, figuring that at some point I too could be a "Brazen Blogger".

Nope!

To quote: "Become a Brazen Blogger: If you are in the age range of 18-35 or blog for your company, submit your feed through the Syndication tab."

So if you are the advanced age of 36 or even older, evidently your blogging and input is worthless.

Nice!

Angels and Demons vs Star Trek

OK, I just got home from Angels and Demons and in a nutshell, it sucked. 15 minutes into the film, I was wishing I had decided to go see Wolverine instead of this loser, and I say that as a big Tom Hanks fan.

On another note I caught a really late showing of Star Trek at the local IMAX and it was great! Practically non-stop action through the entire film and all of the charactizations were spot on.

On a side note, I had to explain to my 22 year daughter (who saw it with me) who Leonard Nimoy is...

Worst freebie for bloggers yet!

OK, is it just me or does this seem pretty retarded? This is off of Twitter, and perfectly displays the true shallowness of the blogosphere and some of its noted bloggers:

pamslim getting excited for wild journey on aircraft carrier with @guykawasaki @penelopetrunk @charleneli @techcrunch @scobelizer and others.Thu, May 14 18:02:06 from TweetDeck

What next? A ride in a Humvee in Iraq? A free Ferris Wheel ride to promote a carnival?

This "Gosh! We're going to spend the night on an aircraft carrier!" is pretty lame for adults.

Maybe their next invitation will be to do some waterboarding of prisoners in Gitmo.

I am only concerned that pamslim is "off message" by attending this farce. The other bloggers IMHO have been "off message" for a long time, and I really could care less about them.

#SacTweetup May 12, 2009 - Now the truth can be told!

Well I got to the Aura Restaurant (http://www.auramidtown.com/) early to check it out and have a multiple event (daughter's 22nd birthday, belated Mother's Day, boyfriend about to graduate, and me picking up the tab).

So we had a few drinks and some excellent appetizers at the bar while awaiting the arrival of the boyfriend. Prior to eating dinner, I asked the owner if they could bring out something for my daughter's birthday. Now normally every single restaurant on Earth does not charge you for the cupcake or whatever they haul out for a birthday. In this case, at the end of the meal, the waiter delivered HALF a slice of Tiramisu with a candle on it and said "The owner told me to bring this over, but we have to charge you for it as we need to account for it." They charged me $8 which is what I would have paid for a FULL slice of Tiramisu. Anyway, with drinks the whole bill came to $130, but based on their cheap ass deal with the $8 charge for the Tiramisu, I will never return for any meal, business or personal.

In the midst of the dinner, I went upstairs to check out the SacTweetup. I spoke with a few Tweeple I knew, and headed back down to my meal. This morning several of the people I spoke with asked if I had been there, which means that a) They were more drunk than I realized or b) I must have had on my cloaking device or used The Shadow's power to "cloud men's minds".

There are several items of good news from the SacTweetup though: 1) I didn't have to post bail bond money for anyone; 2) I did not wake up in a foreign country married to someone that I did not share a language, politicial or religious view with. After the third time that I had happened to me I stopped drinking hard liquor at social events. OK, I stop at the third or fourth drink, but beyond that lies dangerous territory. 3) My daughter met an interesting Twitter person in the ladies room although I can't recall her name. 4) It appears that a good time was had by all, although in following up the names of Tweeple there, there is a split. Either one Twitters daily or practically not at all. Sigh.

That's it. Trying to finish my Twitter book for publication today.

Support Johnny Truant!!

Please visit this poor fu*ker's site and send him some kind of support cash.

Financing a guy this funny is worth the payback in karma.


Things Amazon has done to piss me off this week

(I already posted some of this previously, but I am irritated and haven't had ANY COFFEE yet so just be aware that I could reach out through your computer screen and take your coffee!)

First they came out with the Kindle DX for $489. It's cool, I would like one, but once again they were too cheap to really think through the total technical specifications or hire a designer to make it look cool.

I think Jeff Bezos designed all the Kindles on his Etch-A-Sketch. Seriously.

I own a Kindle one, which is dying with a line right up the middle of the screen and the occasional lockup where it just stops responding. Amazon's solution to an out of warranty Kindle one? Send them $180 and they will send you a refurbished Kindle one with a 3 month warranty.

Totally unacceptable. They should offer us early Kindle adopters/loyal customers (I spend THOUSANDS on Amazon yearly) a discount on the DX, whether you own a Kindle one or a Kindle two. Yeah no one else in the technical business does that but so what?


The other thing they did, and I kick myself for going through this because I have fallen for this before, is ship a book I ordered on Thursday to arrive on Monday. Fine, except that I paid the extra $3.99 for one day shipping so that it would arrive on Friday. This always happens, no matter how early in the day I order. It is such a standard occurrence that I feel like it is a scam.

OK, that's it for my Amazon rant. My good Amazon news is that I have been reading the Assassin series by Robin Hobb on my Kindle because Amazon offered a slew of FREE Kindle titles recently. Of course they were all the first book in a series, so if you got hooked with volume one, you were probably going to get the rest of the series. That's how it worked for me and the Assassin books; the first one was free and I bought the second and third ones. In fact, I have grown to enjoy the writer enough to consider other titles by him/her (Robin Hobb? Are you female or male?).

Kindle DX and Amazon customer loyalty

I own a Kindle one. This is immaterial but I spent thousands a year on Amazon. Yet Amazon has no concept of rewarding customer loyalty.

For Kindle one owners, there was no offer to buy a Kindle two at a reduced price.

For Kindle one and two owners there are no incentives or discounts to buy the Kindle DX.

I don't know what Amazon's thinking is unless they figure they are the only game in town and that once you have bought any Kindle you are commited. Well if Congress passes the internet tax, which is one incentive to purchase from Amazon, customer loyalty might change.

I have a year and a half old Kindle one that is rapidly failing. It has a vertical line up the center of the screen and often cannot move to the next page in a book. Yet the only offer one can get from Amazon regarding this type of issue is to sell me a refurbished Kindle one for $180!I'll stick with my failing Kindle one until it dies. At the moment though, there is no reason to consider an "upgrade" to either the Kindle two or the DX.

I think Amazon needs more customer awareness no matter how much one spends annually at Amazon.